I didn't

I watched you fall
I watched as you sank to the bottom
I stood by
With pitiful eyes
As you searched my face
For the reassurance
That I would save you.
I know now
I should have dived
Head first
Into the tornado
Of worries and troubles
Surrounding you.
I should have rescued you
From yourself.
Instead I stood on the sidelines
With the jeering crowd
I stood alongside those
Waiting
For your end, your last epic fail
I was your one, dim light
At the end of the tunnel
The one that kept backing away
At the speed you were going forward.
You were gasping for breath
I could have let you have it
But I didn't.
You were struggling on your knees
Waiting for the strength
You were sure I would give you
But I didn't.
You needed support
Something to cling to
I was supposed to be your rock
But I wasn't.
Along with the whole, jubilant world
I watched you going crazy
I should have saved you.
I didn't.

--------------------------------------------------------------

I looked to you for the support
You have always given to me
Without fail.
I looked up to you
On your high pedestal
Far above the gloomy abyss
I was at the bottom of.
We were always there for each other,
We were equals.
Since when did that change?
Was it when society accepted you
As the amazing, brilliant person you are
And shoved my down
To the bottom of the friend chain.
Suddenly
Now you'd risen above my limits,
You were too good for me.
I told you that.
I watched you run away from me,
Yearning for you to turn around
And embrace me.
But I told you to run.
I told you to turn away from me.
After all,
Such an amazing person
Had no reason
To stand by a nobody like me.
I didn't want you to leave my side
But I told myself you deserved better
Now, here I am.
I'm gasping for breath
I'm drowning
But you're only metres away
Still breathing
I know
The look of hope on my face
Will make no difference.
You have deserted me
Just as I forced myself
To turn my back on you.
Look where it's got me.